Monday, June 30, 2008

10 things that scare me about Obama

10 things that scare me about Obama:

1) If you mix up the letters in his name, and add an "uslim" to the end of it, his name rhymes with Muslim. Coincidence? You decide.

2) He wants to drop a gay bomb on Antarctica so that all the penguins turn gay. I don't agree with his stance on this issue.

3) Flag lapel pins are the defining issue of our time. He doesn't wear one. Sounds very terroristish to me.

4) He wants to blow up the Moon, and feed all the falling bits of Moon Cheese to the homeless. I like the Moon just how it is, fascist commie!

5) He thinks the world is like 5 katrillion years old, like such a number is even possible. Every non-terrorist knows the world is 6,000 or 10,000 years old.

6) His parents almost named him Hitler, but they didn't want to give away their fascist commie Manchurian candidate plan to make him President.

7) He doesn't have enough experience points to be President. He's only a level 3 Senator. John McCain has much more XP than Obama.

8) He bought hummus from the grocery store once, which is terrorist food.

9) I'll have more later.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Facts that I don't think could be disputed even by God himself

Fact: The world is 6,000 years old, or so. Anyone who says otherwise is a terrorist.

Fact: Gay people are causing earthquakes and stuff. Is it any surprise that the last major earthquake was 665 days after a gay pride parade in San Fransisco? That's one day less than 666 days, which is Satan's number. God probably just lost count but his message is clear.

Fact: Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Same goes for landmines, nuclear bombs, and rocket launchers. All should be legal to own.